Honest Trailers - Ed, Edd n Eddy
by The 21st Century Pendragon
Summary: To celebrate the 25th birthday of CN, one of the Cartoon Network's best cartoons gets an Honest jab.


If an Honest trailer for _Ed, Edd N' Eddy_ were to be created, it would start off with a sequence that includes screenshots of requests, the green title card and Jon Bailey's opening spiel, " **From Danny Antonucci, the creator of MTV's** _ **The Brothers Grunt**_ **…** "

Which he comments about, "Seriously, we don't know too." But still continues on with his lines, " **…comes one of Cartoon Network's original staples of animation before they force you to shove their reboots to your mouths.** _ **Ed, Edd & Eddy.**_"

Accompanied by visual aids from the video, the epic voice goes on with the trailer's body, " **When Cartoon Network needed original cartoons, they gave us** _ **The Powerpuff Girls**_ **. But since it is too girly and too violent for your kids, they gave us this kid-friendly version of** _ **The Three Stooges**_ **that shows wacky slapstick hijinks by utilizing acid trip animation from Canada.** " After finding that out, he remarks, " **Man, I guess** _ **South Park**_ **is right about Canada.** " Then, cue a clip of Double D shrugging.

" **Meet the Eds, three distinguishable frat boys who would do everything to swindle money from the cul-de-sac kids, just to buy obnoxiously large jawbreakers.** "

" **There's Ed, the muscles of the trio, who is also dumb, because of course.** " Then, the video shows a clip of Ed lifting heavy stuff and being scatterbrained. But the narrator retracts his clichéd personality with this claim: " **Oh, and he is also a comic book lover. So, relatable?** " Cue the clip of Ed proudly claiming that comics are of real life.

" **There's Double-D, the know-it-all, sports-hating, peace-loving, obsessive-compulsive germophobe. So, that is why the rest of the Eds mock him for that.** " Cue a clip providing proof of that claim. But the epic voice guy points out to something, " **But is that his hair? Or hat? I can't tell. It looks like his hair.** "

" **And there's Eddy, the self-proclaimed leader, who uses his self-made authority to scam money from kids, do absolutely nothing while his friends do all his work, read dirty magazines, mock the other kids, brag about his non-existent brother and generally be a slacker.** " Cue that montage.

" **Watch as these three preteen doofuses go from gag after gag in their rather empty neighborhood, trying either to ploy or impress the neighborhood kids, like:** "

"… **Jonny 2x4, a rather lonely kid whose only friend is a slab of balsa wood, whom he believes can speak…** " After showing a clip of Jonny interacting with Plank, the epic voice guy remarks, " **Yep, I totally relate with this guy.** "

"… **Sarah, Ed's loud-mouthed younger sister, so clearly she is a spoiled brat.** " Cue montage of Sarah being a loud mouth.

"… **Jimmy, Sarah's accident-prone and rather whiny subordinate.** " Cue clip of Jimmy being happy, then being whiny.

"… **Rolf, a farmer boy with a thick European accent and a weird penchant for farm animals.** " Cue Rolf's weird customs as a farm boy.

"… **Kevin, the jock bully, whose only love of his life is his bike.** " Cue the clip of Kevin wooing his bike.

"… **.Nazz, the cute blonde that every guy falls for, and is also a dumb blonde.** " After showing a clip of Nazz being beautiful and ditzy, the narrator comments, " **So, it's a step up?** "

" **And the Kankers, three creepy sisters, who would do everything to stalk the Eds one step in the way.** " Cue the antics from the Kankers on the episode "Nagged to Ed."

" **Get through 65 episodes of television, plus four specials and a movie to see this young Canadian version of the Three Stooges…** " As it gets to that point, the video shows a split-screen of Ed, Edd N' Eddy and a collection of Three Stooges short, just to make the comparison clearer. " **…where the three titular juveniles talk about what to do for the day, plan out their scheme that somehow involves luring other people to participate in them, execute those highly elaborate scheme that ends up in cartoonish violence and have them punished or humiliated for doing that in the first place.** " After that, the narrator moves on to this claim, " **And don't be bothered by the simple plot because they almost do the same old routine unsupervised.** "

However, one matter springs out of his mind. " **…which only raises the question: where are the adults in this neighborhood? Eddy's brother appeared in the end, and he is the only adult to show up in the show. So, where are the rest of the adults? Your belongings were trashed by your kids. And your houses get damaged in the purpose. And somehow they didn't mind this happening? And who are the parents of the year who would teach their kids to con other people to buying teeth-damaging candy? Seriously, this makes** _ **Peanuts**_ **look more realistic.** " Cue clip of Charlie Brown being a klutz.

Nevertheless, he continues on with the rest of the video, " **So, revisit the cartoon series that you loved as a child for being fun, and still appreciated as a millennial for at least being entertaining. And celebrate on the success from this adrenaline-fueled series for being one of the most successful series Cartoon Network has ever produced, one of the longest animated shows of all time, and for being the second longest cartoon series produced in Canada.** " The epic voice guys then sidetracks to give praises to the creators," **So, yeah, Canada, you deserve credit for once, just as long you don't screw it to** _ **South Park**_ **for once.** "

" **Starring:**

 **Adam (Eddy)**

 **Anders (Double D)**

 **Blake (Ed)**

 **Brown Skinhead (Jonny)**

" **Hiya partner, I'm Woody!" (Plank)**

 **Jimmy Neurotic (Jimmy)**

 **Sarah Palin (Sarah)**

" **You play like a girl!" (Kevin)**

 **DACA (Rolf)**

 **That girl from all those movies (Nazz)**

 **Real-life depiction of fangirls (The Kanker Sisters)**

 **Rob Walker (Eddy's Brother)**

 **Horrendously huge jawbreakers**

 **Horrendously colored tongues**

 **Horrendously dangerous contraptions**

 **Horrendously wavy animation**

 **And Jackass pranks** "

And for the Honest title: " **EdsTV** "

But before the video ends, the epic voice narrator gives his final thoughts, " **Man, I remembered wanting to have Eddy's bedroom one day. But nowadays I just wish that there are three girls who would not stop obsessing over me. Oh, living the dream.** " But as the video cues to the Kankers "taking care" of their "boyfriends", which somehow looks torture, he utters, " **Never mind.** "


End file.
